Assertiveness means being clear about your feelings. And also your wants, needs, and beliefs in a manner that is respectful to others. Hence, it is a communication skill that improves relationships, build self-confidence. And reduce conflicts in any setting people interact as well. Thus, assertiveness helps an individual to stand for what is right with respect. Here are some tips to share in improving your assertive skills.
Learn and Understand Assertiveness
Learning and understanding of assertiveness are the main things. And these give you the confidence to stand up for yourself. Seek more information and materials that talk about assertiveness since positive elements will teach you how to be assertive. And while still respecting other people’s thoughts. As you learn, you will understand the difference between being aggressive with confidence. You will learn to be honest and direct. And as a result of learning, you will then follow other people. You won’t be expecting other people to know what you want. Knowledge helps you to know that you have to speak up your needs and with confidence.
Without self-confidence, you cannot be assertive. No matter how you try, your efforts will fail. When you have high self-esteem, you get respect and attention from people around you. With a high self-confidence, you can say, act, and do whatever you needed to do without fear. Thus, with high confidence, you will not be afraid of what other people think about you.
Valuing people means putting their interest and goals before their discomfort and short term feelings. And when you appreciate someone, you respect them above your perception of them. Thus, you see people from the strength point of view. And as you value people, it means that you are caring. Also, as an assertive person you say, act and do what needs to be done. However, if you don’t value people, you will only push your interests.
Set Personal Boundaries
Personal boundaries are limits that control your life. It helps you in understanding what you can or cannot allow into your life. And as an assertive person, you don’t want people to walk all over your life. At the same time, you don’t want these people to think that you are a terrible person or a bully. Thus, having boundaries also gives you guidelines on when to say yes or no. And it will help you to live in harmony with the people around you.
Learn the Power of Personalization
Personalization is the art of framing your communication from a personal perspective. You only attribute yourself and not someone else. It merely means using the Pronoun “I.” For example, instead of saying, “You have failed the project.” You say “I feel disrespected by your actions.” Words come with emotions. And words that use “you” perspective communicates finger pointing. Thus, this show lack of confidence. And as a result, the words used are to shift the blame to another person. Also, using generalization words brings an attribute of defensiveness and ego. Hence, you won’t be respected by the people around you. And they will think you always shift the blame to them.
Assertiveness is a skill that takes time and practice. It might be easier to bully other people or scream at someone. However, assertiveness brings respect for you and others.